You're in my right brain...

You have no name.
You're in my right brain.
Beautiful and seamless...
one whole loving flawless circle of light.
Cliffs edges cannot limit us--
boundless in ecstasy,
breathing in you...out me.
Levels of incoherence
laughter for hours for no apparent reason
it just is.
No laws or rules or doubts
we just are.
Seeing a soul past the confines of the body.
We are free.

These things are A-ok by Me

-Men running shirtless in the heat of the day
-Taking extra long steps at a cross walk
-Counting out loud in your head
-Random dancing in the supermarket
-Language fusions
-Walking into work late
-Living organisms praying together
-Chasing rainbows at night
-Daydreaming during meetings
-Sleeping or napping on the job (as long as it isn't putting anyone in danger and you still get your work done)
-Telling the truth even if it hurts
-Meeting the maker
-Having coffee in the middle of the day or at night
-Breaking or keeping a routine
-Anything that doesn't hurt anyone
-Using the power of your influence to create a ripple effect
-Morning showers
-5-minute showers
-Chewing with mouth open
-Speaking with mouth closed
-Intense staring, as long as it is not directed at me
-Long drawn-out meetings
-Drawing in meetings
-People people
-Anti-people people
-Knowing your limits and setting them
-Monday morning blogs
-Simplicity
-Life

Why Chocolate Chips are the Best!

My body is the instrument
and the music is bitter sweet.
Like chocolate chips in my mouth touching just the tip of my tongue,
slowly spreading across my tastebuds making my lips--buzz.
Give me that truth to hum sing songs to the bottom of your soul.
I delight in you.
I wish I could melt you and keep you in me--If only I could encapsulate the melody.
You and I could be. But when I awake, I'll be in the same place.
And you in yours.
Each of us so dreadfully singular.
Boom boom boom
boom boom
The rhytmic baseline
connecting our hearts is the only beat.
Moving us forward and propelling us through this chocolate dream.
Every piece of me wear the vision of we.
Chocolate chips give me a reason to be.

He's Always Gone Too Long

Everytime he goes away,
Ain't no sunshine,
instead the distance between us feels like one long cloud,
outstretched like an arm with no attachment and no grasp end,
where are we going with this,
are we just relying on the consistency of dreams?
I can't count sheep falling asleep,
instead I count the days,
and the dollars dripping from my bank account,
and the days seem endless,
I never liked counting.
So pointless, it never ends.
It never brings me closer to what I really want.
Only longing for more.
My goal has never looked this concrete, but at the same time like a brick wall.
It's as if seeing all the signs wasn't enough.
I had to come right up against it.
Feel it on the palm of my hand.
So cold and hard.
So real.
Everytime you go away.

Jamaican Men 101: Lessons 1 & 2

1. Don't listen to anything he says to you.
2. Only pay attention to what he does.

The benevolent liar...

Have you ever been lied to?
What about that lie when the person you trusted with everything,
I mean EVERYTHING...
looked you in the eye and said, its true.
And later you found out that this person was lying to you for 2-years?
And when they finally got caught and confronted they said...
It was for you.
To protect you.
To keep you safe from harm.
The expression on the face looks something like this,
....
The benevolent liar.
Lying for the good of all mankind.
Sometimes the words come later for this type.
I wish I could have looked him in the face right then and said,
NO, you lied because you're a liar.

You reflect me

You reflect me.
You are a reflection of me.
From deep within the darkest dreams,
To outside from what the world can see.
You reflect me.
And me you.
When we collided we shattered and broke the prettiest picture which made us quickly drop to our knees to pick up the prettiest pieces and it was doing this that we discovered that what was before would never be, so we built back ourselves and in picking through these pieces we were shocked to see the most beautiful things that were in you, in me. And from that day on I looked at you and saw the best parts of me.
Little pieces of you now shine through my eyes. The parts I saved from before, they transform themselves in the way I look at you and others. And that pretty picture from before now looks like the unfinished art we now see.
Where everything makes one again. Where we are united through our broken bits.

I felt when I first looked...

I felt when I first looked...

When I fist looked at you I felt like I had taken my first breath. I saw your body first. It swayed back and forth under the warm night, transplanted...you looked like a delicious palm tree so natural in the warm night air that enveloped us both. I looked without seeing, like reading from a text without words, I forgot which foot goes in front the next, you captured me, I was taken by you and I wanted to go and in that moment I lost time. I wish I could have taken a picture of what my face looked like at that space when place didn't exist. Mastering my mind and aligining my senses didn't come until later. Much later--in fact. But in that space place I felt like nothing needed to make sense. The same way that the stars in the sky don't need to be justified--the preexistence of our connection seemed ancient. I had, feelings for you so I withdrew, in the only safe place I knew, convinced that if you saw the real expression escape from my face my insanity would be convicted. I was also protecting that little piece of myself that screamed, "don't break me". I let my brain take over for a second--and thats all the time I needed to say...Think slowly, talk slowly, reveal nothing. And I think I succeeded, maybe. But as soon as you left and drove off I jumped as high as my legs would take me (no not into the sky as I had hoped) still I felt superhuman with boosted powers. When I reached the bottom of that long winding staircase leading to the UWI dorms the ladies were sitting around the tree on brown metal folding chairs, still whispering women talk in the dimmed illumination of campus lamps. I stopped dancing before getting into eyeshot but I forgot to stop my spirit from dancing and as I approached the women immediately stopped the evening stories to receive my joy which seemed to be flying out from my body in all directions. A smile spread across their faces in a wave. One slyly asked, "What happened to you?" and a combined "ooooooh" hushed through the rest of them. I answered with a burst of laughter and spilled out a flurry of words I can't even recall and I don't even know if it made sense. I just remember wanting to share the Leonness with them. There is no way I can explain that spirit joy to a group of people and they didn't need an explanation because they just felt it. And I shared you that first pure still night.

You blank me

You inspire me.
Like morning dew on grass blades listening for the liberation of dawn...
You make my spirit dance.
I hear the call of the drum in you that connects us all...
You give me a reason.
That doesn't sense but understands completely.
You motivate me.
I go not knowing the limits of space or time.
You light me.
When I feel like the flame has been expunged.
You hold me.
Even when oceans and seas come between us.

The New Line

The way I see it, everyone deserves to see the way the world should be. I call it your individual "license to dream". And this is not one of those fade away dreams that you don't even remember when you wake up. This is a conscious and strong-willed fantasy that will morph into reality at any moment. You have the license to have the love that you have always wanted, get the job that you have always seen yourself in, taste the decadence of your hard work turning into well-deserved results. I say this, because sometimes we become soooooooooooooooooo satisfied with what is before us. Every day should be a struggle...not in a bad way. In a kick ass super stealth ninja on a mission...way. When your work begins like to look like this:

It's time to take a step back. Look at what is what in life. Invite and allow dreams to contextualize themselves in reality. And take out your license to dream.




It might give you a different perspective on what is here and now.

Reintroduction: Mayan direct to you baby...

I am a very loving and selfless person with a slightly insensitive streak. I am deeply emotional which confuses me sometimes, searching for the right way to express myself is a struggle. I always reach to improve myself and I am very critical of myself and others. I do not take on excuses. I love the world around me, sharing stories, and livelihoods. I believe I can change someone's life even if I only meet them once. I have a wild imagination--sometimes it takes me to places I don't want to go, and I have to fight my way back to the common ground we call "normal". I dream about how the world should be--and act on it. I aspire to be a writer but I'm a little too timid to come out. I push myself and others to the limit. I care deeply. I am able to feel a child's pain even if they don't say a word. I love more than I know, and sometimes give more than I have. I'm eternally flawed in so many ways. That's me.

Aiport Madness...going back to JA to claim my loveness.

On another funny note the airport was mad today at 530. The line was so long that all the early birds were piled on top of each other trying to check in all at once. The lady in front of me had dwarf legs, a full sized husband, baby stroller, and puppy in tow. I felt bad for her. When I realized I could use the self check-in I broke away from the line and in my urgency knocked over a divider pole that smacked some girl in the head. After check-in people jumbled near the security check in a bottle neck shaped line. Those in the back vying for a better position in a slow creep. The top of the bottle neck was the most aggressive spot. Last minute checkins trying to catch their flight pleaded with those in prime position. I had a woman beg me to let her in front due to her need to adopt a baby in less than 24-hours. When I responded with a blank stare she found better luck about 15 people ahead of me. See, everything happens for a reason. My time to push I stealthily manoeuvred in front of a tall black man trying for the same spot. Put my head down shoulders back...glanced sideways and realized it was my boss! Good morning Dr. Artis! Good thing he knows about my trip...to be cont

Leaning...Something I did Today

Great big dents fill my heart. My fingers trace their invisible beginnings...not knowing where the hastily stitched seams connect to reality. Trying to make sense of the senseless. Too heavy to lift, filled with whispers from the past. Longing for a future unburdened, where the snow falls back into a blue sky. Carefully and proportionally measured. A balance that many may envy. Cut out from my pain, I make paper dolls dance in front of me, paper dolls. Lifting my heart. Creating something where I thought nothing remained. Finding what's left and going from there. Swallow my unanswered questions every morning, wash it down with coffee from the old cart, or bottled water. Liquid fills my empty stomach, dreams and mixed feelings invade my mind. Subtle changes, restoring. I hope.