Jesus Does Not Work For Google

Jesus Does Not Work For Google...

Offer any question to the Google Search Engine and the universe
shall be opened unto you. The Googleverse that is. A Googleverse
that is coming across a more varied and sophisticated structure with Google Search Engine,
GoogleVoice, GoogleCalendar, GoogleScholar, and a soon-to-be Google
phone to usurp its revered predecessor-iphone. The Google Eye reaches
to many "forbidden" arenas such as North Korea, Alqaeda safehouses
in Pakistan, and that Washington DC 3-bedroom bachelorette pad that your current beau's
ex-girlfriend frolicks within.

In short, Google can navigate you to the furthest corners of the
earth, all from the comfort and "privacy" of your own home. You can
ask Google anything. It is the Trekkies dream come true.

To Go Where No Man Has Gone Before.

No proverbial stone is left unturned. For better or worse. Alas,
the truth is--Google Giveth and Google Taketh Away. Unphased by your
haughtiness, naughtiness, or all around annoying curiosity. No matter
what angle you take, google sits unchanging. Awaiting your deepest
and most secret queries. WIth its two BIG eyes and slot of a mouth.

Ready to gobble up your curiousity and spit out knowledge with the
click of your mouse. Google is omniscent, non-judgemental, forgiving,
everpresent as satellite imagery suggests, and potent with answers to
all of your questions. Could it be? Jesus-Powered?

Sigh with relief in knowing that JESUS DOES NOT WORK FOR GOOGLE.

Well, how do I know? You may ask. The universe poses questions
to us on a daily basis, which we as humans are tasked with answering.
These universal questions are uniquely unaswerable by Google. Some
examples follow:

-What is ____(your name)'s purpose on this earth?
-Should I forgive ____(name of transgressor) for ______(transgression)?
-How can we realize our dream for global peace and not end up
in pieces as a result?

Yes, some questions are unanswerable by our well-respected Googleverse.
Sorry Google, Jesus has you on this one. These are questions, universal
question, that can only be answered by our inner-voice. Whether you get
to that voice by asking Jesus to speak to your heart or by doing
yogic meditations is up to you. Some days Google doesn't have ALL the answers.